fuckviserys:

Dearly bruhloved we are swaggered here today to join these two bros in holy matrihomie.

amoying:

human: :(

dog: :D

human: :D

prettymuchdone:

“ok” and “okay” sound different in my head

spankmehardbarry:

yesterday i went to the library to read because im a nerdy girl and i love to read, unlike most girls. (: anyway i was reading twilight and tHEN I SAW ANOTHER GUY READING TWILIGHT AND HE CAME OVER AND STARTED FINGERING ME AND THEN HIS MOM SHOWED UP AND LIT HIM ON FIRE OMG THEN I ASKED HER IF SHE HAD TUMBLR AND SHES LIKE “SUPERWHOLOCK” AND GAVE ME HER URL AND IM SCREAMING

"

1. Do not kill yourself. Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.

2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.

3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.

4. He is going to break your heart but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.

5. Don’t spend hours looking up what your name means on google. Your name is your name and you should go out there and do heroic and good deeds and give your name your own meaning.

6. Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.

7. Music is good for your soul. Rap music will energise you and boost your ego and pop music will cheer you up. Indie music will make you think and emotional songs will make you cry and think about that boy again. It’s healthy.

8. Victim complexes are not attractive. Boys and girls will not date you because you are sad. They are not going to date you and kiss your aching bones and cure you of your dragging depression. Wake up. Take a bath. Do your hair. Be attractive.

9. Sadness is not poetic. Depression is not beautiful. Laying in bed all day and eating too much is lazy and disgusting and it is not tragic or pretty. Get up. Go outside. Let the sun warm your bones. Live.

10. If it makes you happy, buy twenty of it. Dedicate your life to it. Print it on tv shirts and collect things and draw art of it. Do not care what people think. They are the unhappy people you need to avoid. The abuse they will hurl at you is painless compared to how sad they are. Pity them. Remain happy.

11. You are allowed to be angry. But the world is not working against you. The flowers do not bloom for you and when your mother shouts ask her if she is okay instead of thinking she hates you. She never will. The world walks beside you and is silent. It does not trip you up or carry you.

12. Day and night cycles are natural. Humans only sleep at night because we used to avoid predators in the dark because of our poor eyesight. Stay awake until 5am watching bad reality shows. Wake up at 7pm and have breakfast.

13. Eat when you are hungry. Being bored does not constitute a chocolate bar. Sleep with you are tired. Do not mindlessly obey the sleep at night rule. If you are not tired, do not sleep.

"
-

Lapfoxs 

Everyone needs this on their blog. 

(via implosia)

tbotofficial:

when you’re trying to be mad but someone makes you laugh

image

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

Name: Bitch
Gender: Bitch
Race: Bitch
Age: Bitch
Height: Bitch
Weight: Bitch
Reason for applying: I’m a bitch

ocheano:

parents: you can’t have any problems you are just a teenager

johnlockshipsdestiel:

officialprincewilliam:

officialprincewilliam:

can a dinosaur even get more fuckin rad?

image

you bet jurassican

i am so impressed by that dinosaur and that pun congratulations

pizza:

petcanadian:

there is a 98% chance i’m turning into pizza

it’s too late for me

mamakarkat:

WHY ARE PEOPLE WITH PENISES GIVEN FREE CONDOMS WHEN THEY DON’T NEED TO HAVE SEX BUT PEOPLE WITH VAGINAS STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR THINGS LIKE PADS AND TAMPONS FOR SOMETHING THEY CAN’T STOP

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

Chemistry more like cheMYSTERY because i have no idea what’s going on